I noticed a juice that supports brain health sitting on the
floor of my parents’ kitchen. It could
be coincidence that they bought that specific juice, especially since my dad is
known for buying intriguing juice flavors, but I think it might be due to a growing
concern of developing dementia.
My grandfather, who just passed away in May, was diagnosed
with Alzheimer’s disease. He was such a
quiet and peaceful man that the effects really weren’t too noticeable. His wife, my grandmother, has various forms
of dementia, and due to her inquisitive and caring nature, it’s been noticeable
for years. At first, it was saddening to
answer the same questions every few minutes, but eventually, it became second
nature, and I grew to answer each question with the same amount of enthusiasm
without a trace of sorrow. For the most
part, my grandma usually remembered who I was, and she was interested in my
life so much that our conversations were mostly filled with questions about
me. That was the way our relationship
was, and I found solace in the fact that she cared so much about me, so it
didn’t matter that I constantly had the same dialogue with her.
However, the angst that I was able to overcome has crept
back into my heart over these past two months.
Many of us were fortunate enough to surround my grandfather during his
last moments, and when he passed, the grief took a stronger hold on all of
us. But what broke my heart into little
pieces was my grandmother constantly reliving that crushing moment of grief
over the news of her husband’s death.
Even now, she still doesn’t always remember, and while her
disbelief and devastation is not as intense as those first two weeks, it really
doesn’t get any easier to remind her. I
find myself constantly grieving for her, and wishing that she could hold on to
her memory. On days that she remembers
on her own, I optimistically think that it is a sign that she’ll begin to keep
this memory. However, science knocks me
back to reality, and I regretfully acknowledge that Alzheimer’s and dementia do
not get better, but rather worsen over time.
While I feel selfish for contemplating it during this period, I can't help but wonder if Alzheimer's will be my fate as well. I've noticed that I've been forgetting things more than usual lately, and I'm not sure if it's my typical memory loss, or if I'm just more in tune to it because of my paranoia over developing symptoms. I'm only 31 years old, and as far as I know, early-onset Alzheimer's does not run in my family, so I take some consolation in that. Regardless, I installed a chess app on my phone to keep my mind sharp, and have been wanting, and forgetting, to get a few crossword books. I've put a lot of thought into increasing my antioxidant intake, and that's why the pomegranate blueberry juice in my parents' kitchen grabbed my attention the other day. Maybe I'm not the only one.
