Dress to Impress (Myself)

I bought myself a girly shirt the other day.  Really, it’s just a glorified tank top with tiny flowing pleats and a sash to tie a bow with.  I’m still not sure whether the bow is supposed to be tied in the front or the back.  Which brings me to my point: a girly purchase is a break-through for me.

I like my clothes to be casual, comfortable, and sensible.  This new shirt is maybe one of the three, so I felt a little guilty buying it.  Plus, I feel like I need to be invited to a fancy barbeque or a semi-casual girls night out to wear it.  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  It’s cute, and many other girls or women my age would wear it on a weekly excursion to Target (weekly? Who am I kidding? I visit Target, at minimum, twice a week).  Anyway, I could wear it today with some jean shorts and sandals, but I’d feel dressy.  Strangers would think I looked normal, but I’d know I wasn’t.  I’d know that I was way too dressed up.  As much as I’ve wanted to buy more girly clothes lately, the greater part of me knows they aren’t practical, and they’re not me.  Yeah, I might look cute in them, but at what expense?  To losing the sense of me-ness? 

I think my mom will literally kill me if I don’t give her a girly granddaughter one day.  I always hated those foo-foo dresses my mom would force upon me.  The lace all over the dresses itched like crazy!  I’m told that I would stick my finger under my collar, tug it away from my neck and say in slow, staccato words, “Take. It. Off.”  The only joy I found in dressing up was wearing my shiny black buckle shoes with the quarter inch chunky heel.  They were not at all comfortable, as they pretty much tore into my anklebone, rubbing my skin raw through my tights.  However, if I walked on the backs of my heels across the kitchen floor, they would leave the most satisfying black “half-moon” marks all over the ground!  Sometimes I would purposely slip, so that I could see the line of black tear across the floor.  I found use for my impractical shoes.

So I guess that’s what I’m going to have to do in my adult life.  Find use for my cute purchases.  Ideas?

           

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

…and society’s “beholders” can be pretty tough.

My eighteen-year-old cousin got Botox in her forehead.  EIGHTEEN!!!  The two, small, horizontal lines that she was looking to erase were hardly visible, yet, someone made it a point to let her know that they could see those lines and that they were unflattering.  This sickens and saddens me. 

First off, my cousin is smart and naturally gorgeous: the whole package.  I never even noticed the faint lines on her forehead; quite unlike the six, very noticeable, lines that have ran across mine since I was a child.  And secondly, how dare someone cut into her self-esteem by suggesting that her worth is in her appearance!  I am in no way upset at my cousin, but I do hold harsh feelings toward the unknown person(s) who made my little cousin feel self-conscious and subpar due to natural skin creasing! 

Society’s air brushed advertisements have already made our ideal looks unattainable.  We don’t need people we know to point out, what they see, as flaws.  My ex-boyfriend used to tell me that I needed to start wearing makeup more often, and that my jeans and t-shirt look should be varied with more skirts and blouses—and no, my hippie skirts did not count.  It begrudges me to admit it, but to this day, I do not feel pretty walking out the door without at least a little mascara on my lashes due to those past conversations.  Please do not think that I am digging for compliments, because I’m not.  I have enough confidence to know that I am, indeed, a beautiful person.  In fact, I snagged my current, handsome boyfriend wearing loose jeans, a t-shirt, and my usual “barely there” eye makeup, so I can’t be that bad.

I don’t know too many people who can truly say that they are one hundred percent satisfied with their appearance, and I don’t think that they need to be.  There is nothing wrong with striving for a healthy lifestyle or wanting to try new looks with makeup and hair.  All I’m saying is that society needs to back off of people’s natural looks.  Yeah, I’m starting to tug at the crow’s feet by my eyes, but I don’t need anyone else pointing them out for me!  I understand that my body is going to change, and I can’t say that I won’t try “age defying” creams as I get older, but at least I can be at peace knowing that my friends and family will always love me no matter how I look, because inside, I am a friendly and caring person. 

Words hurt.  Keep unkind thoughts and opinions to yourself.  Learn to love yourself more and more.

New year.  New thoughts.  New challenges.  You up for it?